depressed (don't really know why)

elo u guyz.. i'm not doin good today.. i'm not quite sure why am i depressed.. i wanna get out of this damn feelin.. it doesn't feel good.. it's like everytime u think of tat someone, ur heart seem to be bleedin.. wat is tat called?? wat kind of feelin is tat?? i don wanna go through this anymore.. it's pain.. juz bcoz i'm close to tat person in camp, doesn't mean we have to be together.. i wish my sister is readin this.. she's tryin really hard to pair us up.. it's juz tat we don belong in the same world.. mel(my sis).. juz cut it out k?? we won't be together.. we're juz great friends.. tat person has his own life out there.. no one at his age would message a young teenager like me.. i'm gettin tired of this.. one part of me is tellin me to continue.. but the other part of it wants to stop this.. i think this is the thing tat makes my bleed everytime i think of him.. it doesn't feel right.. it's not tat i'm admirin him or something.. but i can't stop myself from recallin the stuffs tat we did in the camp.. juz bcoz we work together, doesn't mean they can pair us up right?? if this is wat he wants, then it's ok.. but this isn't wat he wanted.. so stop pushin this around.. this isn't wat i wanted either.. it's not tat i don like him.. it's juz tat i only liked him as a best buddy.. so i really hope they can cut it out.. i purposely did't message him juz so tat they can stop it.. but it's not tat easy.. when i don message him, they said tat i'm makin him miss me.. wat the****.. but when i'm messagin him, they seem to grab my phone and read all the messages..!!! i need some privacy ppl!!!! every message comes, they'll ask me wat is it all about.. it really pissed me off..!!!!!!! it juz doesn't feel right!! i hope they can call this a shot.. i felt so bad not messagin him.. afterall, he's my best bud. at tat camp.. u can't blame me if i missed the camp so much!! i need ur help.. if anyone tat relates to this matter, please know wat u're supposed to do..!! GIVE ME SOME PRIVACY!!!!!!!!!!

it's me

hey hey hey!! nice meetin u all.. i heard bloggin is fun.. so i juz wanna give it a try.. haha.. it's kinda cool bloggin.. (accordin to my friends) haha.. they said i can share thoughts wit u guys out there.. so let me intro myself.. i'm amanda.. i'm still a teenager.. i'm a girl.. (but not really girlish) i'm currently a student.. i'm very active when it comes to camps.. i go for buddhist camps a lot.. it's kinda nice to be in camp once awhile.. talkin bout camps, i juz got back from one!! it's very tiring.. but it's fun workin wit ppl there.. i was a helper in tat camp.. i taught kids how to dance.. i taught kids how to chant.. i made lots of friends there.. it's juz very very fun bein around friends tat u noe.. but sometimes, u don only meet friends tat u noe.. u can also mix around.. it's cool to be socialable.. but not too socialable.. my blogs can be very funny at times.. pardon me.. bcoz of my blurrness.. sometimes i don even noe wat am i thinkin.. sometimes my blogs can be happy!! someitmes my blogs can be sad.. so i hope u guys enjoy readin it!! i'll try my very best to post as many blogs as i can.. till then.. -amanda-