i'm very very sorry!!

hey there!! was really upset today.. i was in a meetin.. a meetin wit my chairman-we fought for about 3weeks- when he said smtg, i will juz tell him off.. he didn't attend the last meetin.. so it's kinda obvious tat he don't noe anythin.. then i juz tell him off.. after the meetin, we were havin table talk.. talkin bout the stuffs tat we done wrong and stuffs like tat.. i was quite quiet today.. so one of the helpers brought me out for a little while.. talkin bout the problems i face.. so i juz told him tat i'm sad for being blamed for everything.. then he called the chairman to talk to me.. in the whole table talk, i was crying.. well.. i was angry.. but i didn't meant to shout at him.. i juz needed to shout to release the misery in me.. i was sufferin for the past 3 weeks bcoz of this.. i don't wanna carry this burden anymore.. so yell.. the first time was normal.. the second time was louder.. and the last time was very very loud.. i felt bad about it.. don wanna have this feeling in me.. juz wish it's over.. hope tat things wil get better..
I'M REALLY SORRY DARREN YEO KHEE REI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

love doesn't suit me!!

I juz came back from a camp 4 days ago.. and during this 4 days, many many things turn up.. in camp, i had two choices.. then after tat, one of the choices(a guy) told me tat he has his another half dy.. u can't imagine how deep the cut is!! it's hard to noe tat a guy who's so good to u juz dump u like a piece of shit.. it hurts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! but i'm feelin great now.. coz i'm helpin another choice of mine to be wit the girl he likes.. but their process seems very slow.. so idecided to help them.. haha.. and ya!! i juz got a new godbro.. he's quite good to me.. i'm kinda happy to have him as my godbro though.. i'm kinda a strong girl!! i can do lots of things by myself.. i can handle the pain, the pressure and the torture tat ppl gave to me.. no matter how hard it is for me, i'll try my very very best to go through it wit my patience and my optimistic attitude.. it's juz tat i can't handle stage-fright.. it's kinda scary for me nowadays.. i dunno why.. but last time, i wasn't scared to be on stage.. i was a dancin queen last time.. i dance, i sing on stage without any fear last two years.. but now???????? haiy.. wat happened to me..??? at least i'm more grown up now.. haha..

i'm sorry!! i didn't mean to

hey there!! i juz got back from a camp.. it was cool!! but i "fish" alot.. only ppl who went for the camp will understand wat "fishin" means.. haha.. about my previous blog!! i'm sorry if i hurt any of u!! i didn't mean to!! i really hope u don mind!! i'm really sorry k?? and ya!! back to the camp.. there's a guy in the camp!! who liked me for a long long time.. he's kinda irritatin to me.. but i still can stand him.. we work together.. and he started givin ideas tat are sorta stupid la.. i still remember tellin him tat i have a boyfren.. his face went from :) to :( well, it's not tat i have one or somethin.. but juz LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

depressed (don't really know why)

elo u guyz.. i'm not doin good today.. i'm not quite sure why am i depressed.. i wanna get out of this damn feelin.. it doesn't feel good.. it's like everytime u think of tat someone, ur heart seem to be bleedin.. wat is tat called?? wat kind of feelin is tat?? i don wanna go through this anymore.. it's pain.. juz bcoz i'm close to tat person in camp, doesn't mean we have to be together.. i wish my sister is readin this.. she's tryin really hard to pair us up.. it's juz tat we don belong in the same world.. mel(my sis).. juz cut it out k?? we won't be together.. we're juz great friends.. tat person has his own life out there.. no one at his age would message a young teenager like me.. i'm gettin tired of this.. one part of me is tellin me to continue.. but the other part of it wants to stop this.. i think this is the thing tat makes my bleed everytime i think of him.. it doesn't feel right.. it's not tat i'm admirin him or something.. but i can't stop myself from recallin the stuffs tat we did in the camp.. juz bcoz we work together, doesn't mean they can pair us up right?? if this is wat he wants, then it's ok.. but this isn't wat he wanted.. so stop pushin this around.. this isn't wat i wanted either.. it's not tat i don like him.. it's juz tat i only liked him as a best buddy.. so i really hope they can cut it out.. i purposely did't message him juz so tat they can stop it.. but it's not tat easy.. when i don message him, they said tat i'm makin him miss me.. wat the****.. but when i'm messagin him, they seem to grab my phone and read all the messages..!!! i need some privacy ppl!!!! every message comes, they'll ask me wat is it all about.. it really pissed me off..!!!!!!! it juz doesn't feel right!! i hope they can call this a shot.. i felt so bad not messagin him.. afterall, he's my best bud. at tat camp.. u can't blame me if i missed the camp so much!! i need ur help.. if anyone tat relates to this matter, please know wat u're supposed to do..!! GIVE ME SOME PRIVACY!!!!!!!!!!

it's me

hey hey hey!! nice meetin u all.. i heard bloggin is fun.. so i juz wanna give it a try.. haha.. it's kinda cool bloggin.. (accordin to my friends) haha.. they said i can share thoughts wit u guys out there.. so let me intro myself.. i'm amanda.. i'm still a teenager.. i'm a girl.. (but not really girlish) i'm currently a student.. i'm very active when it comes to camps.. i go for buddhist camps a lot.. it's kinda nice to be in camp once awhile.. talkin bout camps, i juz got back from one!! it's very tiring.. but it's fun workin wit ppl there.. i was a helper in tat camp.. i taught kids how to dance.. i taught kids how to chant.. i made lots of friends there.. it's juz very very fun bein around friends tat u noe.. but sometimes, u don only meet friends tat u noe.. u can also mix around.. it's cool to be socialable.. but not too socialable.. my blogs can be very funny at times.. pardon me.. bcoz of my blurrness.. sometimes i don even noe wat am i thinkin.. sometimes my blogs can be happy!! someitmes my blogs can be sad.. so i hope u guys enjoy readin it!! i'll try my very best to post as many blogs as i can.. till then.. -amanda-